Sunday, December 21, 2008

A Freilichen Chanukah



'TWAS THE FIRST NIGHT OF CHANUKAH... OY! WHAT A SHOCK!
SOMEBODY OUTSIDE WAS PICKING OUR LOCK!
AND THERE AT THE DOOR STOOD A 'ZAYDA' IN BLUE-
AND HE WORE ON HIS KUPP A BLUE YARMULKA, TOO!

HIS PUNIM WAS SHAIN-EVERYBODY WOULD LOVE IT!
'ROUND HIS NECK HUNG A CHAIN WITH A GOLD MAGEN DOVID!
HE WORE SILKEN TSITZES BENEATH HIS WOOL VEST,
AND A SMALL FLAG OF ISRAEL WAS DRAPED ON HIS CHEST!

HE SAID: "I'M NO BURGLAR, SO PLEASE DON'T BE NERVOUS.
I'M THE SPIRIT OF CHANUKAH, HERE AT YOUR SERVICE!"
"MENCHEN ALL CALL ME 'REB' SHALOM SHAPIRO!
WITHOUT ME, THIS YOM-TOV MIGHT NEED A NEW 'HERO!'"

"I VISIT ALL YIDLACH, AND BRING - KINNAHORRA-
GOOD FORTUNE AS BRIGHT AS A GLOWING MENORAH!
ICH SHLEPP LOTS OF BLESSINGS AND CHANUKAH GELT,
AND JOYS THAT ARE TAKKA THE BEST IN DER VELT!"

"IF YOU KNOW NICE MENCHEN, I'LL VISIT THEM QUICK,
AND I'LL BRING THEM GEZUNT AND A HOUSEFUL OF GLICK!"
SO WE SENT HIM TO YOUR HOUSE, AND SHOOK HANDS AND PARTED.
HE SHOUTED, "SHALOM!" AS OUT THE DOORWAY HE DARTED!

HE RAN TO A WAGON WITH HORSES AHEAD.
HE FED THEM SOME BAGELS,AND HERE'S WHAT HE SAID:
"LET'S GO, MOISH AND MENDEL! MAKE QUICK, MOE AND YUSSLE!
PLEASE GIVE A RUSH, MALKA! HEY, HYMIE, PLEASE HUSTLE!"

THEN THEY RACED LIKE THE WIND! AND THEY GALLOPED SO SHNELL,
ALL HIS CLOTHING BLEW OFF, AND HIS GATKES AS WELL!
SOON HE WAS SO KALT THAT HIS TUSHIE TURNED BLUISH!
HE MOANED AND HE HOLLERED IN ENGLISH AND YIDDISH!

SO, DON'T ACT EMBARRASSED, AND PLEASE DON'T BE RUDE
WHEN THAT FROSTBITTEN ZAYDA ARRIVES IN THE NUDE!
QUICK! WRAP HIM IN BLANKETS! DON'T BEAT 'ROUND THE BUSH'!
AND TIE A HOT WATER BAG ONTO HIS COLD TUSH!

QUICK! FEED HIM SOME CHICKEN SOUP HEISS AS CAN BE!
AND GIVE HIM SOME SHNAPPS AND A GLEZ'L HOT TEA!
'CAUSE HE BRINGS YOU A HOUSEFUL OF CHANUKAH WISHES
AS WARM AND G'SHMACK AS A PLATE OF HOT KNISHES!

AND HE BRINGS THEM FROM OUR HOUSE SO FRIENDLY AND BRIGHT,
SO YOUR HOUSE WILL KEEP GLOWING WITH CHANUKAH LIGHT.

PLUS JOY SWEET AS TSUKKER, AND PEACE AND GOOD-CHEER
AND EVERYTHING FRAYLICH EACH DAY OF THE YEAR!
AND NONE IN YOUR FAMILY WILL BE A SHLEMAZEL,
FOR LIFE WILL BRING EACH OF YOU SIMCHAS AND MAZEL!

AND ALL THROUGH THE FUTURE YOUR HOPES WILL COME TRUE,
AND HIMMEL WILL BLESS YOUR MISHPOCHA AND YOU!!!



Despite the levity above I wish everyone

a Freilichen and meaningful Chanukah